I shall never forget my first conversation with Fr. Peter Gillquist, nor his advice to me. A phone call unexpected and counsel I refused to honor.

It must have been my middler year at Trinity Episcopal School for Ministry (TESM), the second of three years, a season which by nature is a theologically raging sea. The first year honeymoon is over. During the middler year, in my experience, the thrill of being a theological student was adjusted (from within and without) from “Here I am, send me!” to “How long, O Lord?” The first year—filled with introductions of all sorts: Intro to Koine Greek, to the NT, to the OT, to Systematic Theology, to Church History—is tempered in the middler year. Or rather, it was like the spin cycle of the washing machine. The ideas and concepts we gained in our 101 and 102 courses were now tossed about, reflected on, and assimilated (or not, as the case may be).

TESM, as a growing seminary, had been given sizeable libraries from generous folks. As a result, the librarians were kept busy sorting through their inheritance, and we, the students, benefited from generous ‘duplicate’ sales, at which we could purchase superfluous copies of (mostly) good books. I bought a full shelf of Orthodox texts for less than $12. I still recommend all of them: For the Life of the World; Of Water and the Spirit; and The Eucharist by Fr Alexander Schmemann. On the Incarnation by St Athanasius. Anglican-Orthodox Pilgrimage edited by Franklin Billerbeck; Discovering the Rich Heritage of Orthodoxy by Charles Bell; Way of the Ascetics by Tito Colliander; The Orthodox Companion by Fr David Abramtsov; A Manual of Eastern Orthodox Prayers published by SVS press; and Becoming Orthodox by Fr Peter Gillquist.

My academic interest in the Orthodox Church began in that middler year, the year in which I realized—contrary to my own cradle-Episcopalian experience—that all Episcopal churches (and here I am referring mostly to self-professing “little ‘o’ orthodox” Episcopal churches) do not believe the same things about what these same folks would call ‘non-negotiable’ Christianity. Baptism: what is it? What does it mean? What does it accomplish? The Eucharist: real presence of Christ or not? Sacrifice or not? Necessary or not? Bishops: of the essence of the Church? For the fullness of the Church? For the good of the Church? Other?

I say “academic” interest because, convinced that we Episcopalians were one of three branches of Christianity who had maintained Apostolic Succession, I figured that in order to minister well and be at peace, I only had to be able to understand how we held these opposites in tension. How could it be, for example, that one parish priest would elevate the host, genuflect before it, bless people with it, and reserve it for the sick while another would consecrate it in a golf shirt or store ‘the extra’ in a Tupperware container. (I am not making this up.)

When this academic pursuit was confronted with, as my wife Jeanette put it, “questions we didn’t even know to raise” from reading Fr. Peter’s Becoming Orthodox, something happened in my heart. I began to realize that at a very profound level, one I can still hardly articulate, this pursuit did not belong in the academic realm of my life. Rather, it was an essential question, rooted in the haunting question, “Who do you say that I am?” Although I can only say this now in retrospect, that question was always followed up with another question—following my answer: “Really?” Even with this realization though, the transformation took years.

Bold as I am—Jeanette still doesn’t understand how—I decided to email Fr Peter, whose book we had both read. Worst thing he could do, I thought, was not respond. And that was the case.

In his defense, at the time he didn’t receive email. The emails went through his assistant Howard Lange, whose kindness I cherish to this day. Somehow my email, though, had been lost in a shuffle of some sort. But the Lord was working in other ways. Let’s see if I can describe it more clearly than mud.

As my family was heading off to TESM, some dear fellow-parishioners of ours at Good Samaritan Episcopal Church (Paoli, PA) had been received into the Orthodox Church at St. Philip Antiochian Orthodox Church in Souderton, PA. They asked their pastor, Fr Boniface, to pray for us as we went off to seminary. Fr Boniface, in due time, contacted Fr. Peter Gillquist and suggested I might be someone who would be interested in learning about Orthodoxy. All of this was occurring at nearly the hour that my email through Howard Lange was lost in the shuffle.

So, one night, my phone rang. It was the booming, joyful voice of Fr. Peter. I was speechless. Fr. Peter Gillquist, this famous author and priest, was calling me? Me? And so began our conversation. I asked if he were calling in response to my months-ago email, to which he replied, “What email?” Then it became evident to me that this was the beginning of some sort of miracle.

Fr Peter’s first counsel to me was “go visit an Orthodox Church”. Mind you, I had read a dozen books so far, and despite living in what the Orthodox fondly refer to as “Holy Pennsylvania” (for the scores of Orthodox Churches throughout the state), I had never been inside one for any reason—even though there were five within *easy* walking distance of our home. (Yes, five.)

No. Not gonna do it. “Fr. Peter, I know that if I go to an Orthodox Church I will be swayed by the beauty. The incense. The chanting. The antiquity. The icons. I don’t want to be convinced by these things (mistakenly called ‘adiaphora’ or ‘things indifferent’ at TESM and other places). I want to know the Orthodox Church is the Church in my head before I go. Then I will go!” For months I avoided it.

I am sure, sitting on this side of the fence now as an Orthodox priest for nearly five years, that Fr. Peter was hitting his own head against his desk that day. But he never told me so. And we stayed in touch. And he prayed for me. And we met in person, finally, when I was a student at St. Vladimir’s Orthodox Theological Seminary, where I thanked him in person for calling me that day, even though I refused to follow his advice, until finally…I took the plunge.

Fr. John Parker is Priest-in-Charge of Holy Ascension Orthodox Church, a mission of the OCA. He earned his M.Div. at Trinity Episcopal School for Ministry in Ambridge, PA, and his M.Th. from St. Vladimir's Orthodox Theological Seminary in Crestwood, NY. He and his wife, Jeanette, and their two sons live in Mt. Pleasant, South Carolina. In this "free time" you can find Fr. John surfing his 9'4 Hobie noserider.

Other featured articles by Fr. John: Returning to Paradise: The spiritual reality behind blessing with Holy Water and On Orthodoxy and orthodoxies.

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