This meditation on marriage was delivered by Fr. Christopher on the Feast of Nativity in 2006.

Blessed Nativity; Merry Christmas! For most of us, our celebration of this great Feast of the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ centers on hearth and home, on our gratitude for the loved ones God has brought in to our lives. We reflect on the year which has passed, and on the year which is to come. We stand quietly before the mystery of God’s Incarnation, of the Holy Child at rest in His Mother’s arms.

Yet it can also be a season of great sadness. Over the brokenness of our lives and most especially the brokenness of our relationships. I recently heard a father’s story that brought tears to my own eyes, tears of joy and tears of sadness. Let me share it with you.

The father spoke about his most precious memory of his physically and mentally handicapped son, Shay. Shay and his father were walking past a park where some boys were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew what the answer would be, but he also knew the difference that it would make for his son. So, he asked one of the boys. The boy said, "Well, we're losing by six runs and it's the eighth inning, so I guess he can be on our team."

Shay struggled over to the team's bench. He had a broad smile on his face, and his father had tears in his eyes. Shay's team scored some runs in the eighth inning. In the ninth, Shay put on a glove and stood in right field. No hits came his way, but he was ecstatic to just be in the game.

In the ninth, Shay's team kept getting hits. There were two outs, and the bases were loaded. The next batter could be the winning run - and it was Shay's turn. But the boys saw what was happening, and they gave him a bat. Shay had never held one before.

The pitcher realized that the other team was sacrificing the game for Shay. He moved in a few steps and lobbed the ball to Shay. Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher moved closer and tried again. Shay swung - and hit a slow ground ball back to the pitcher. The pitcher could have just thrown him out, and his team would have won. But, for Shay's sake and the joy of the moment, he lobbed it over the first baseman's head. Everyone in the stands, everyone on both teams, started yelling, "Shay, run! Run to first!" Shay had never run that far in his life. But he made it, wide-eyed and startled. "Keep running," they shouted. And Shay kept going. By the time he made it to third, an outfielder had the ball, and threw it - right over the third baseman's head. Everyone in the park cheered - "Shay, Shay, all the way Shay!" - as the players pointed him in the right direction, and he scored the winning run. His father was waiting there to embrace him.

Shay never made it to another summer. But as he died that winter, he never forgot being a hero; he never forgot making his father so happy; and he never forgot the way his mother hugged him as he came home.

Today, I want to speak with you about the most precious - and the most painful - thing in each of our lives. I want to speak with you about family. When you hear that word, what do you feel?

Love, and Anger.

Hope, and Frustration.

Joy, and Pain.

Nostaglia; Guilt; Honor; Responsibility; and Confusion.

Grief.

And Wonder.

Nothing brings out in us the whole range of human experience like family does. And nothing reveals to us the shape of God's love like family does. So during this season of the Holy Family, I want you to reflect on love, on family, and on the essential building block of every family - the marriage of a man and a woman.

Brothers and sisters, each and every one of you is created in the image of God. And, as we read in the Scriptures, God is love. And marriage, to quote St. John Chrysostom, is the sacrament of love. Marriage - and family, the fruit of marriage - is meant to be the flowering of God's love in our world.

First comes love.

Now, this doesn't mean that each of us will have a husband, or a wife, or children. But it does mean that in order to understand who you are, you need to understand marriage, and family. This is a vast - and vastly important - topic. I'm going to be teaching about family many times over the coming months. Today though, I want to give you three simple truths about marriage and family: About God's desire; about sacrifice; and about joy.

The first truth is that God desires healthy marriages, and healthy families.

This might seem obvious. Yet, my fear is that, in this day and age, we're all at risk of losing sight of this basic truth.

There is no doubt that marriage and family can bring great pain - a fact that Shay's family experienced so powerfully. And I know as a pastor how many people suffer because of marriage and family, and how sometimes the bitter painful course of breaking apart a family is the only alternative after exhausting all other options. But this is not something that any of us can take lightly.

Last week, I read that out-of-wedlock births in the United States have climbed to an all-time high, accounting for nearly four in ten babies born. And this is during a time when births to teen mothers have declined. It is adult women who are increasingly giving birth outside of marriage - who are delaying marriage, or giving up on the idea entirely.

I also recently read a review of a book titled, believe it or not, "Against Love." According to the reviewer, the author argues that marriage "belongs on the junk heap of human folly." That it is "an equal-opportunity oppressor, trapping men and women in a life of drudgery, emotional anesthesia, and a tug-of-war struggle to balance vastly different needs."

Is this true? I think every one of us is tempted at times to believe that it is. But brothers and sisters, this is a lie - an evil deception. In our broken world, marriage can be a source of great pain. But it is not folly.

No marriage is without sin. No family is without struggle. But none of us should point fingers - at ourselves or at others - over our difficulties. We fall, and we get up. We fail, and we recover. We fracture, and we become whole.

In the Roman Empire, when friends passed each other on the road they would wave and shout, "Salvi!" "Salvi," the root of our word salvation. It means, "Be whole." In our marriages, in our families, God calls us to struggle always towards wholeness - towards holiness.

Because, first comes love.

And this leads to my second truth for you: Healthy families and healthy marriages are sacrificial.

God wants us to have healthy families and marriages, but creating them requires great effort and sacrifice. How much did Shay's parents have to sacrifice for his sake? What did his life mean for their careers, for their romance?

St. John Chrysostom taught that, "There is no relationship between human beings so close as that of husband and wife if they are united as they ought to be. ... When husband and wife are united in marriage, they no longer seem like something earthly, but rather like the image of God himself."

But notice something in this quote: "IF they are united." "WHEN they are united." That's the rub, isn't it? That's the difficulty. That's the sacrifice. Because after all, what is a marriage? It is the coming together of two different people, two individuals with different histories; different ideas; different challenges. Forging unity the work of a lifetime.

What does this work look like? I think we all know. It looks sacrificial. It looks, my friends, like Christ. "Neither husband nor wife," St. John went on to teach, "is his or her own master, but rather are each other's servants."

Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself said that "the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve." He also taught that, "Greater love has no one than this," Jesus taught, "than to lay down one's life for his friends."

To be united ourselves - to create healthy, loving marriages and families - we must be willing to sacrifice. We call our Lord Jesus Himself the "Bridegroom." And what did the Bridegroom do for His Bride? He gave His all for her. In laying down His life, He gave the ultimate sacrifice. He showed us the meaning of love.

First comes love.

God wants us to have healthy families and marriages. And they will require sacrifice. Yet there is a third and final truth you must remember: Healthy families and healthy marriages are full of joy.

We are created for joy. We can know that God wants our most important relationships to be healthy. We can sacrifice for their sake. But each of us can ask, with good reason, "If I don't find joy in my marriage, or my family, what's the point in trying?"

There is nothing wrong with this question, and no one should feel guilty for asking it. We are made for joy, and our prayer is that it will be at the heart of all of our families. A traditional Syrian marriage blessing says, "O Lord, inflame these lovers with the fire of love. In the morning of all their days, may they awake unto joy!"

However, we need to make sure that we understand what real joy is. Our society is constantly selling us on a shallow definition of joy, on personal gratification and endulgence. But true joy is so much more than just a storm of emotions.

"Christian optimism is not a perpetual sense of euphoria, a comfort in whose presence neither anguish nor tragedy can possibly exist," wrote Thomas Merton. "Christian optimism lies in a hope of victory that transcends all tragedy."

What is true joy? Brothers and sisters, true joy is shared hope. True joy is the experience of union. I think this is something that Shay's family learned.

What does this joy look like? It looks like a healthy marriage, a healthy family. St. Clement described it like this: In marriage, "breath, sight, hearing, knowledge, hope, obedience, and love - all are one." And St. Gregory Naziansus used these words: "Marriage has made the weak one twice as strong, being a great joy to friends and a sorrow to enemies. And common worries lighten anxiety, while joys had in common are sweeter for both."

First comes love.

First comes love: Despite the chaos and suffering that can seem everpresent - and overwhelming - in marriage and in family, God's desire is that you will dwell within your family in peace.

First comes love: In His love for us, there is no limit to what God will do to overcome the very real pain we've all known because of the corruption of our world. For the sake of love, God makes every sacrifice - and we must do the same.

First comes love: You all know the rhyme we learned when we were young. "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage." In the building of marriages and families, we learn that our sacrifices blossom in to joy. And in our children, we see the fruit and flowers of love.

As you celebrate this Christmas season, show your appreciation of others through gift-giving, and receive the blessings of others through their gifts. And remember hope. Hope in the turning of the seasons, the turning of darkness towards light. Hope in the children, in the fruit and flowers of the sacrifices of marriage. Hope in the joy that can shine through even the most sickly, like Shay. And hope in the message of the Holy Child sent by God to reveal to you His love.

Fr. Christopher Metropulos is founder, host, and executive director of the Orthodox Christian Network (OCN) and the Come Receive The Light national Orthodox Christian radio program (www.myocn.net). He is pastor of St. Demetrios Greek Orthodox Church of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, where he and his wife Georgia are raising their six children.